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Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Guys I Wanted To Marry

This is the list of guys whom i won’t reject if they come begging me to be their partners. Don’t tell me about being realistic, these guys keep appearing in my dreams :) It really is not my fault :p

They are K-pop idols as well as actors. Very well talented :)

1) Choi Minho (SHINee)

2) Xiah Junsu (JYJ, TVXQ)

3) Kyuhyun (Super Junior)

4) Lee Donghae (Super Junior)

5) Micky Yoochun (JYJ, TVXQ)

6) Hero Jaejoong (JYJ, TVXQ)

7) Taecyeon (2PM)

8) Park Jaebeom (ex 2PM leadJa)

9) Seulong (2AM)

10) Doo Joon (Beast)

I have some actors in the list of course. Some of them are K-pop idol as well :)

1) Yoon Si Yoon

2) Yoon Ah In

3) Kwong Sang Woo

4) Won Bin

5) Lee Minho

6) Kim Hyun Joong

7) Yong Hwa

8) Kim Rae Won

9) Lee Dong Gun

10) Lee Dong Wok


Please find yourself their photos. So lazy to upload :P

Monday, December 6, 2010

Digi Kpop Party 2011 Live @ Stadium Negara

Hi readers,
It's been a while. I feel so lazy to update. I got my pass already to the Digi Kpop Party which will be held next year on 13th January. Sure it's not a holiday but i'll get permission off lol. There will be BEAST, 4minute and G.NA performing. But the major reason i wanted to go there is mainly because of BEAST. 20% because of 4minute, 5% because of G.NA lol.
This is the first time in my life, getting something from lucky draw. You know me. I rarely lucky. I always envy people around for their luck. But now i can feel so much relieve to know that my turn has arrived. I won an exclusive pass to the farewell troupe. The funniest thing about the lucky draw is that when i shuffled the ball, i always have in my mind that i will get a white ball instead of orange. I imagine that the white ball will come out, but surprisingly, it was orange ball. The digi staff in charge of  the lucky draw even help me to scream. I didn't scream at all because i was in shock. Then i asked her again, did i win something. Then only she said yes, scream lah, everyone envy you right I'm the 50 lucky person to get the pass among thousands. Thank God :)
Do you have your pass with you? Why not? Go grab it until out of stock!
Graphics signature

Monday, November 29, 2010

Miss them so badly

Four person I miss so much at this moment:
1) Nurul Akma Osman
-----Good luck for your final semester exam-----
2) Siti Fahrulina Mohd Fauzi
----Good luck for you too Ummu Ahmad :p------
3) Nurul Adilah Arshad
----When can we meet again?>sobs T_T----
(sorry no photo because i know you would not like to be published)
4) Shafiza Safri
----Pija, where are you? Silent mode eh?!----

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

When my dark side takes place

I cannot tolerate infidelity in marriage, especially when it involves a good man, devoted his entire life for the woman he loves with his full heart. I can swallow if both having problems, but if one is almost as perfect as man could be, i really can’t stand. I will started to hate if the reason of infidelity is about having the third party. How did they value love? How much they care about love? Older people might think we, a much younger generation will not understand life, but they are wrong. Maturity does not come with an understanding package. Understanding life itself is not merely through ages, it depends on how much you take them as information and apply to your life. Even without experiencing something, by learning from other people’s mistakes, we might as well know the consequences, good or bad.

My heart is broken, it has been reconstructed before, two times. But this time, because it is so much fragile, i cannot mend it anymore. My heart is like a glass. Once broken, roughly, i can take the pieces and stick them together, even if it cannot bear the same water capacity anymore, the least it can do is it’s still a glass, still having a look of a glass, a structure, even though not a perfect glass, it’s still there. But now, the pressure is too hard i couldn’t bear it anymore. The reconstructed glass is no longer dropped down. Something big hit it causing the pieces to be torn apart, not anymore into pieces, but into debris. Into molecular looking things. Like a conical flask containing suspension cells being hit by a 6 meter shaker up from a two double storey-house high. The precious banana suspension cells lose it lives. The conical flask which serves as the home of suspension cells, collapsed, broken down. No use. The conical flask containing banana suspension cells is just like me. I used to be precious, but now I feel empty, I feel angry, I feel betrayed, I feels sucks, I feel like a loser.

I  may look happy, but indeed, i live in misery. I may look friendly, but i love solace. I may look energetic, but indeed, I’m tired. I may look strong, but i am too weak. I may look brilliant, but I’m an idiot. I may look lovely, but I’m a hatred. I may look apologetic, but I keep grudges. I may look like i am, but i am not me. I am not myself. I am the bad side of this girl. I come when her good side turned darker. I am able to occupy her heart. I made her into this kind of person. She, the person who used to be full of herself, now is so much lacking, getting worse by day. And i cannot predict when is she going to get her good side. Maybe she want to see Suju again, haha. I dunno. She is like okay, but she is havocking. She is in dilemma, real test is she facing now. She is going to go through all this. I am the bad side. Let see until when can i control her…what do you think? As my name suggest, yes, i am the dark side of her heart. Bad = dark. Isn’t that comes together? May i ruin this girl? Talk to the time..

Sunday, November 7, 2010

The Story of My Life

Attention! This is a very very long entry. Feel free to come again if you are unable to read all thoroughly. :)

Hi :) It’s been long since i wrote anything personal here. It’s just that whenever i felt something that i should write in here, i have to handle the lab works. So, i just keep talking to my heart, sometimes it does feel like I’m talking to somebody else. I’m a freak after all. It’s a holiday today. Three days off from working feels like heaven :)

To begin with, i want to tell you that I had lived for more or less, 23 years. Sounds like mature enough to talk about relationship with people around, huh? During the stages of my live, i have found many different people, with different behaviors, different personalities, different languages, different styles, different looks and most importantly, different adaptabilities towards myself. What can i tell you here is that, most of the people I mentioned above, i rarely called them friends.

Sounds like arrogant enough to not considered someone you know for quite some times as friends. Sounds like you are so much self-oriented, sounds like you are full of yourself. Yes, maybe that is real me. At least, that is what i am right now. If you know, you may not want to be close to me, I’m telling you.

When i was in primary school, in quite a small school with just two classes for each grades, i didn’t really involved in a kind of real friendship. I still remember some of the kids whom i played around and ate with during resting time. Still remember their names, yes, quite a few i can remember. Comparing to my little dongsaeng’s relationship with her friends, it makes me to conclude that i haven’t done enough to create a good childhood memory. I envy my dongsaeng so much as she manage to have birthday parties at her friends, pajama parties, gossiping all over again, but me, i was a boring girl.

After i entered secondary school, none of them contact me anymore. Since my primary school is quite far from home, none of them ever visited me. Don’t pity me yet. There is one whom i used to enter the same secondary school with, a boarding school. She was the one i used to be quite close to, only at my early months in the new school since i am not used to anyone else at the moment being.

She is the only one from my primary school who have ever come to my house. That was only after 6 years. I didn’t mind that much since I’m still young and glamour (ops..I don’t know why when it comes to the word young, I always wanted to add glamour together- since the last college dinner theme; young and glamour i guess). That last only few months. We separated due to the fact that we were not in the same dormitory and class. It creates barrier i tell you.

And i started to find people as friends. At a moment, i thought i have found them. At the age of 13 and 15, it is hard to differentiate between coincidental friends and real friends. I took everyone whom had done any good deeds at me as friends. Anyone who against my way, is never a friend.

After that, I restricted myself to be friend with only people who stay with me when i needed them, and people who have connections with me, like on the same class or in the same dormitory. I was a kind of hardly accept any other friend whom i used to be with. Another words, i didn’t talk to anyone else other than whom i really know. Sometimes i realized that in certain issues, i tried to adapt myself to be the same level as them (the people i found as friends) even though i have my own perceptions towards things. In order to not lose friend, i stayed their way.

In secondary school, i didn’t have any boyfriend. No, not even one. Don’t tell me I am not attracted at all haha. If you have endure the same situation as mine, you will never regret not having a boyfriend at that school. I don’t have any boy I’m closed to as well, again if you feel the way i feel, you would hi five me for not involving in those puppy love things. This is the most grateful things i have ever done in school i guess :p lol.

Still, there were things i really love about my secondary school. Even if i non-stop begging my mum to let me get out of the school, because i can’t stand the irrelevant rules, i can’t stand the killing schedule, i can’t stand some of the guys there who thinks they are so much greater, acting like a gangster, ahh i really don’t want to remember those, but i love the fact that i can enter university with decent grades.  I tell my mum, it was a bless, not because of my SPM result. To be honest, I am not really good at school. Except my first year in school i was placed in the top class, the remaining four years, i was in the second and third ranking class which makes me unpopular among teachers. I’m just a fella that frequently creates havoc at school.

The were times when i was called by the discipline board for things i did, most of the time, i was called by things i didn’t commit at all. But once the discipline board shout your name out loudly as it would burst out  the PA system, you are no longer a girl that boy in school will want to look at. Even if they didn’t know what exactly had happened. I didn’t say i want their attention, not at all. It’s just like the glances and weird look i received after my name had been called out that day, was so disgusting like they never did something wrong……ahh~again. I hate this memory call.

Maybe you can say, that’s the reason why i haven’t had any boyfriend in school. If you are a girl, will you at this kind of situation, wanted a boyfriend? If you are relevant enough, you will say I’m doing the right thing :) Enough talking about boyfriend. In the end, you’ll find bunch of men outside of school way better than you have had admire in school. This is real truth :)

Back to friends in my secondary school. There are people i used to called friends, i kept in my heart and some i never did because of some reasons. Five years in secondary and high school, i eventually find that only a few left the title friend. And some of them whom i never been closed to suddenly i put them into the list for a particular reason i didn’t want to mention here. But, adding and subtracting the list is done now. Maybe i just have to add some more in the future.

Done with schools, i entered foundation studies. I was really a mean at the beginning because the atmosphere was totally differ from the previous one. I have to breath accordingly, adaptable so I became more cautious. In the bedroom, there were three other people with me whom really good at communication with people. Well, me with exception. I’m just like the vice versa. The opposite of them. Rarely communicates, rarely talk, being hardheaded. At this time, i think i am really lost. I don’t know which way I’m going to choose. It was on my early 18’s. Sometimes, I’m thinking of dropping out of the university and do something else which i didn’t even planned. A lot of thoughts in my head, but none of them worth to opt.

The last thing to opt, I just follow the wind that strikes me. It’s the result of thinking after two months. I stopped thinking about the future and what lies ahead. I will just stay and do my best. That’s what i pledged to myself since my parents seems happy to the fact that i was there. Look at the way they ignored me when i begged to transfer to another school, it resulted in me getting a place in university, well not bad for a lazy girl at school like me. So, listening to your parents is still the best option.

The biggest secret thing about me not everyone knows is that i am a person who really needs time to adapt to new environment. Say it in school, be it in university or even at work, my heart trembled, pounding and throbbing at unstable rate until i get to follow the rhythm. It may takes time, but once i can be able to make myself around, i can make friends :).

During my foundation studies, i really make friends. Or maybe not. I mean, a lot of people came to me, wanted to be friend, even though I’m not someone. I entered the fourth over four classes during my first semester. I didn’t know how they sorted us into classes, based on what. But i heard rumors saying that we were sorted based on our test result done during orientation week. OMG! I think i failed that paper. Maybe I’m the worst ever student there. And after thinking again, i didn’t mind about that. It was just a starting point.

I don’t know why, in every classes, i always wanted to sit in the very front seat. Please don’t get me wrong. It’s not that i wanted to be recognize by the lecturers, but maybe because i wanted to do things that i cannot do in school. Yes, in school, i never get any chances to sit in the front line. You can name it a gender bias or what, but for me it’s just another irrelevant issues i always argued. I hope things will change by years.

When you sat on the very front line, others perception; may be you are a very good student, scores very well in school, talk less, read more and intelligent. Darn it. It’s not very true, cannot be applied to all. And when you started answering some of the questions asked by lecturers, their perception is getting firm. Here’s what I’m gonna answer.

The people who stayed close to lecturer will hear every words they are telling you. Once they speak, the people staying at the front will spontaneously get the question in one go. But the people staying back, will have their friends repeating the question over again. That’s why they didn’t have chance to answer. Practically, it was the nature of who stay closer, will get direct contact.

The most exact example i can give you is this. If you went to a concert, say it SJ’s concert, JYJ’s concert, whoever concert it is. If you bought the farthest seat, will you be the same as the people who bought VIPs or the very front seat.? They are differences right. So does it applies to the class. The more closer you are to the lecturer, the more possibility that you will get the information right. It’s just a simple analogy.

Well back then, some lecturers did remember my name, but i am not all the times sitting in the front line. The reason is i have difficulties in some subjects. If i sit straight to the lecturer’s face, then the probability for me to be asked is pretty high. Sometimes i tried to hide my face, hoping that the lecturer will not find my traces and did not ask. Sometimes, it works, but most of the time, it didn’t.

The second semester, we, in the fourth class, randomly being scattered all over. We have to be apart because we were divided into courses. Three classes for biology, one for physical. Again, a new environment, new colleagues. Not bad. The class full with girls and just a small number of boys. Never mind, not a problem at all. Indeed, an escape of problems.

Going through changes, it somehow changed my way of looking at the world. I started to venture into another things around, like being close the library, read politics books, philosophy, started a virtual community, involved in the so called technology. Spending times in the library, i just went half an hour to search for books that attract me much. Another three to four hours, i was stuck in front of the library’s computer.

At the time, wireless connection was not available yet, so rather than going out to the internet cafe, i used the library’s computer. Besides saving my pocket, i was labeled a ‘bookaholic’ by some people, since i spent so much time in the library. Again, i was being overrated.

The problem during my foundation studies is that i was being too much highly respected over things i never have. And to make it more dramatic, my exam results were all good. Can be considered excellent, but precisely, i am not. I accidently did well in my four semester exams. So again, i was labeled as ‘budak pandai’ which never matches me at all. I wanted to live in modesty. That’s it.

If you read from the beginning, you’ll notice the differences between the time i was in school and foundation. It’s just like two big comparison. In school, i was being low ratted, but in university, i was too much overrated. Sigh. Kids, life sure is not easy.

Look how long have i been babbling here. I don’t think anyone who came in read the first paragraph will be able to read until this line. Maybe they are, but not many.  If you are still reading from top of the entry, until this moment, you can come to me claiming a reward :P

This is not come to the end yet. I wanted to tell stories about lovely people around me. I wanted to reveal whom my friends are, why and how can they be considered as my friends. I am still waiting for another friends in my life. Waiting means seeing progressions, seeking qualities, and testing adaptabilities. Indeed, they whom i always called friends will know how much i appreciate them :)

Thank you for reading this long entry version. I may come with another story of my life soon. This is just a gist of my up and down life. If you have people whom you called friends, hold them around you, don’t let them go away. Because friends are precious. They hardly find, but easily go. Good luck to all :)

p/s Hey girls, i miss you, you, you and you…. (no linking because most of them do not own personal site)


Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Super Show 3 Organizer (Malaysia)

Hi everyone..
Super Show 2 has been organized by Redstar Present as we all know, but this time i have no idea after hearing rumors saying that Redstar Present have an internal conflict with SME. I think this happened because Redstar is the organizer of JYJ Showcase. SME still having problems with those pretty boys, which is like no end. Maybe until the boys ended up in jails will they shut up interfering the boys. Super Junior is under SME, so it’s hard to say anything right now. SME will not cancelled the concert here in Malaysia, i believe that. The only concern now is the organizer. I didn’t go to the BEAST fanmeeting, but my friend said that the organizer was not really good in terms of customer services. And still, i tell you, Super Show 2 is total daebak. The concert went smoothly. SME is still good in managing, it’s the fact that they did something wrong to my boys, so i can’t fully tolerate. Please SME, don’t bother JYJ. Don’t mess up their life. You have a lot of K-idols to manage. Can you at least let them free? And after that can you have a peace mind of Redstar? They are trying their best to bring K-pop idols in Malaysia and we glad that Super Show 2 did well. I didn’t complaint at all after the show. It was just like a very beautiful memories. If only they can read this………….
Will update soon regarding this matter. Ticketing info is still not available since the organizer having some problems with SME. We ELFs, believe what SJ believe :)

I heard a stable fact that SS3 will be held on 19th March 2011. The SS3 SG organizer is the one who will take responsibility as SS3 Malaysia organizer. Still have some problems regarding the venue. I heard they said   that the venue clashed with an event organized by Malaysian private TV. OMO..why at the same date and place! But the SS3 organizer had already paid half the price of the stadium's fee (Stadium Bukit Jalil). It's been really confusing right now. But as long as the show's still on, i can be happy for quite some time. Fighting SS3!

All of you might have known this but to make this entry complete, i'm just gonna paste RITS's info regarding the upcoming SS3.


Super Show 3 - The Third Asia Tour
Date: SAT 19 March 2011
Time: 6 PM
Venue: Stadium Putra Bukit Jalil

Rock Pitt RM 480
Terrace Seats RM 480
Balcony Seats RM 370
Partial Restricted View RM 220

Launch of Ticket Sale Event for Super Junior's SUPER SHOW 3 in Kuala Lumpur

Venue: Sungei Wang Mall
Date: 19th February 2011
Time: 10 AM - 10 PM

Online Ticket Sales at (20 Feb - 19 March 2011)
Available Online and at all AirAsiaRedTix outlets Island-wide (Malaysia) .

Time and Date (Start of Online/Outlet sales : 20th FEB  | 12 Noon

Sunday, October 24, 2010

JYJ Showcase 2010 in Malaysia::Superb!!

Hoyeahhh…this is the best moment ever! I was waiting for them for quite a long time. Eventually i managed to see them, although without the duo. It was a lil bit messy for the management, they didn’t allow us to get in the stadium earlier, we have to wait like more than 4hours outside the stadium with 38 degree Celsius, you might have boiled an egg! Luckily i was tough enough to bear with the sun, i wasn’t collapsed. I saw few girls fainted in the middle of the crowd. So, this is how if you buy free seating or rock zone site. You’ll be pushed and may have fallen if you didn’t have enough strength to face with the crowd, don’t tell about the sweating, it sucks! JYJ_Malaysia

Went to SS2 on March, it was totally different. The sponsor is the same company, but the crowd are more tolerate, i mean ELFs are much more patient. I may be wrong too, because during the concert, i bought the numbered seat, so i didn’t have to fight for the best seat. I can even come late. No pushes, no bashes and no revolt in my heart lol. 


It’s a tiring day to stand up queuing under the hot dazzling sun. Until the time comes, nobody’s talking and everyone just look at them, mesmerized, a scenery where everyone looks like under a spell. I was bewitched. I feel like i was in a dream. They were standing right in front of my eyes! Yes, it was a reality, no dreaming. As they started to sing, i still can’t blinked i’m telling you. My eyelids didn’t move a bit. Owh yes, it’s Junsu, Jaejoong and Yoochun. yes they were!! Until that, i started to blink again :)



50 minutes was all the time they have with us. They all look superbly stunning. Junsu, he’s damn OMG nosebleed super duper cute, energetic dancing empty, his voice, even a butter in the fridge can melt :p. Jaejoong as expected, he look like a barbie doll :P. He’s really really handsome! The crowds keep chanting his name. While Yoochun, he’s really a Mickey i mean he can speak English well. So, he’s the most attractive member of the day. He interacted well with the MC and the audience as well. Looking back at the PC session, the mC told them to say “Saya Cinta Kamu”. Except Junsu with his cute and blurry face, Jaejoong and Mickey can utter them quite well. They even added ‘lah’ at the end of the Junsu said it well too, but i just smile looking at his face, he looks sincerely cute!


They performed six songs only, promoting their new album, The Beginning. They also sang “Chajatta”, Sungkyunkwan Scandal OST. I really love this song. I can memorize the lyrics on the second time i listen to the song. The talk session last for few minutes only. I want to hear their voices longer. Even though they use translator, this makes the talk session longer, i think it’s better to listen to them in Korean rather than having a translator which takes long time. I don’t mind having them 100% in Korean since they were born with it and since we know them through that language as well.



Lighsticks, glowsticks, banner with lights, saranghaeyo projects with red ballons, they were all a success. Everyone dressed in red except for a little minority. It was a really red ocean. I love the scene. The spirit of Cassies, the love of them towards the boys. It’s not all about JYJ. Crowds keep chanting Dong Bang Shin Ki more than JYJ themselves. Yes, we all missed Dong Bang Shin Ki. Yoochun even said at the end of his word, always keep the faith. I believed there were teary eyes in front of me. They really love Dong Bang Shin Ki, as well as i do. Once a Cassie, forever will be. This addiction has no remedy, no treatment, i will bear this until the end of my life with smile :)


They will probably hold a concert in Malaysia next year during summer (it’s always summer in Malaysia anyway). Let’s wish that it will become truth, let’s pray for them to settle things smoothly, let’s pray for them to cheer us over again, for eternity. ALWAYS KEEP THE FAITH


Saturday, October 23, 2010

She died……………………….

I miss her. I cannot stop crying. I hurt so much inside. I cannot do much as i can as a grandson. I can’t even repay her anything. I can’t even give a single cent to her, as she did before. I planned to buy her things as soon as i get my very first payment, but it didn’t happened as i wished. It’s not even a month to be paid. I wish i have a lot more time with her. But her time has finally come. She was destined to die today (23 October 2010).

I am so much fragile now. I tell myself to stop crying but it’s getting worse. Thinking that before she died, she suffered a lot, i think I'm gonna cry all my life. This is something i have to bear with. I have to accept by heart. I accept logically, but deep in my heart, i bleed so much. I regret something, but it was really under my control. I have to keep believing, that she is going to a better place. Yes, she is. She is going to leave those craps who breaks her heart, who treats her like animals, who can never be called her children in the first place.

There is only one thing i can do for her. Praying for her until it’s my time to go. Ustaz said that praying for our parents and grandparents will definitely be heard and surely be accepted. That, i wont stop doing.

Who will not feel sad and hurt if someone they love passed away? I can tell anyone who lose their important person bunch of advises, words that can somehow give a little bit comfort. But when it comes to myself, i can’t help rather than crying.

I keep revolting those people, but i have to release the feelings, i have to let it go. Because if i keep revolting, it hurts me as i will feel sad. I’ll feel sorry for my grandmother who died that way. She will get a better replacement there. She, who will always be remembered, who will always in my heart, who will always have a place in my heart, rest in peace my dear grandmother…May you be blessed in there……………………….



Friday, October 22, 2010

Happy Birthday Sunbae-nim

Attention dear readers, do not read the underline words!

Saengil chuka haeyo Sunbae-nim :)

Yay, it’s sunbae’s old day. Stepping into another digits, perhaps he might have just realized that he is entering a new stage in life. I don’t know how old is sunbae. I think he might be 26 this year. Just an estimation lol :p

I wish him to graduate soon (as he wishes too). I can see that sunbae is struggling all  days and nights, doing everything he can to finish his PhD. He might have been so busy and less sleep. Sometimes i saw him sleeping on his table. Sometimes i can see his face look little worried, he looked like rushing into something probably working hard to complete everything. OMG, PhD is that stressed?

In terms of physical, he’s half of me. I mean, he looks skinny. Sometimes i get jealous because i wanted to lose weight :p. But i think he doesn’t have much time to eat like me. Eat like starving for a week lol. I wish sunbae can eat properly. At least, build some muscles like Junsu or Jaejoong..or Yoochun okay! haha

69024_447486988035_602608035_5548629_51713_nThe purpose of adding this picture is merely a motivation to sunbae :p. Make yourself look like them and sure you’ll get your PhD done in few days lol you’ll be chased over girls and perhaps me as well hahahaha.

I have nothing to give as for now. No lovely present, sorry. I have to keep some money until the day i get my payment, i will buy something for you as a present. Owh very poor now :(

As for now, i can only afford to buy maybe a box of 12’s Big Apples doughnuts or Krispy Kreme, or a lunch set of bibimbap, or a lunch set of ramyun or one piece of Secret Recipe’s cake. Poor me :(. But it’s hard to treat all those foods because i didn’t know if he’ll like them or not. And going to Midvalley with him alone is another thing. He’ll always busy and maybe don’t have time for all that. Forget all these. Buy anything else rather than foods. I have some suggestions in mind, but that needs quite an amount of money. OK. Again, forget this for a while.

This sounds more like my diary rather than a birthday wish. Back to the topic okay. Things that people always said to the person celebrating their birthday are wishes and sweet words. I am not good at this personally. In real world, i talk less and i look like an arrogant plus less environmental friendly. Indeed, i write and speak more to my heart. I don’t know why. I can be talkative sometimes, when i really have the point. Sometimes i rather be silence than talking pointless. OMG this is a diary as well!! Sorry

Can skip some if you hate to read, but do read until the last paragraph. Didn’t force but highly recommended lol :p. I swear this will be the second last paragraph. I won’t write so many unnecessary things in this entry because it’s sunbae’s birthday. Respect please (talking to myself).

I pray for sunbae to be fit and healthy each and everyday, so eat well and sleep well. Rest a bit, don’t rush over things when you cannot even take a deep breath (lecturing here). Hope you can get your work done in the ‘to-do-list’. Hope you can finish your PhD as you planned. Hope you will get everything you want in your ‘wishlist’. Hope you will be graduating soon and then people will start calling you ‘Dr Wansin’ lol :p Nice name. Can’t wait to hear people call you that :) :) :)

#Happy bithday Sunbae-nim………Lee Wan Sin!! Have a great one :)

p/s Lee Wan Sin is my UM senior. He is now pursuing his PhD studies . Working on banana and he is one of the best senior I’ve ever met in my entire life! He helps me a lot and sure he deserved to be mention here :) TQ

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

This is an entry to Nuffnang..

If you are a blogger, you might know what Nuffnang is. It’s a well known company of blog advertising community. You can check them out if you haven’t heard about them. I didn’t know much about Nuffnang but i do serve ads from them. What i mean by didn’t know much about Nuffnang is i didn’t learn how to make attraction to my blog to maintain the traffic, adding unique visitors and play with the keywords. My blog is merely personal. I write about what i love, what i do and my addictions. If you have come to my blog earlier, you will notice that i rarely change my layout, my header is still the same for the last three months i guess. Some people said, my blog is weird and unattractive. Well yeah for a girl without temptations of girly things, it does not make people coming again for the second time lol.

As far as i remember, i started Nuffnanging since July or maybe August (so lazy to check out). And during the period, i have 1 buffered earnings. But i didn’t know what to do so i just let them be, like usual. I came across some blogs saying that once you get a buffered earning, you have to work hard on it. It’s like a bonus Nuffnang gives us. So, have to update more and make people come to our blog. I am not a regular updater since i started working. I cannot update one post a day because i am busy culturing banana. But if the banana male flower didn’t come to the lab for several days, I'll be like nothing to do in the lab and keeps downloading things.

A thought came to my mind. I haven’t have to do things that against my physical ability. I will only write if i am really wanted to write and when i am really full of imagination and facts in my mind. Writings come from a heart that flows in the mind. Heart first then mind. So, if i do the update just because i wanted the blog to be visited by unique people lol, it’s not from my heart. And i am pretty sure, the post will not be attractive, at all!

This is a piece of thought i have in mind. Why need to really obsessed with posting a lot of entries just to keep the unique people came in. Sounds like so, what if you write a lot? That’s not the case actually. The fact is, a lot of people use attractive keywords but a very pointless entry in the end. Hey people, let’s blog for real. Let us be honest in blogging.

Thanks to Nuffnang for giving me the buffered earnings. I’ll kept writing good ideas perhaps. I don’t really know what Nuffnang considered in giving buffered earnings to bloggers. I can’t tell because i rarely updates, i didn’t chase the unique visitors and so on. Maybe they have some sort of criteria for them to give priority, that is Nuffnang’s secret recipe. Some bloggers have their own tips of getting buffered earnings. I didn’t know if i ever tried, perhaps or maybe not :O

I wanted to show the printed screen of the buffered earnings i have. For a sec, i think my blog is prone to entertainment and all those Korean-Japanese things. So, the buffered earnings goes around that :p. Have a look. At least I’m not just nagging alone here.

cats  traffic

Hey what’s the point of this traffic view? :p Just wanted to say that, the only attraction of this blog is JYJ things, K-idols, and perhaps some of my friends viewing my site. Get to be real. I wanted to do things better, yes now and forever :)


i wanted to put this at the first place instead of the traffic view. lol. It’s all about JYJ things. JYJ should be proud of their Cassies :popo

p/s thanks also to Ben Ashaari :)

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

A new beginning- My First Ever Job

Salam and hello dear :)

Life have been quite busy for me these days. It’s about me and the lab. It’s about getting thru all the things that were familiar with me and not so familiar with. The different thing is i am no longer was here because of the FYP, but as a Research Assistant. It happened so fast as i could even breath a long sigh. I got a rented house together with my former classmates, lucky me. I think my life have been surrounded by all those kind people who always help and support whenever i need them. Sometime life gets harder but i didn’t feel the tense because the period was too  short, i can’t even realize. 


Those good people around me inspire a lot of motivation. It keeps myself to its original state once i dropped down. Not only those people who moves around. Not only my family whom will always support me, people like my K-Pop Idols really help cheer my life. It’s more than just a mere entertainment, it’s my rhythmic soul, it’s my heartbeat song, beautiful and refreshing. cn12

I think i am weird. Because i never knew what is my interest except the fact that i am a Korean freak. Besides travelling, i wanted to eat various kind of foods and jumped over the hill without injuries. Apart from that, i didn’t know if there are anything else's i aimed for. But the best part of me is that i usually accept my destiny, i accept what comes to me without objection and try to live the way i was given. I usually take the choices i was given, i rarely alter and change. So far, i am contended. I am happy to live the way i was destined. As a result, they said I'm a lucky girl :)

Picture0015 I don't know what will happened the next chapter in my life. It’s hard to expect, and plus i seldom expect, just a glimpse of imagination sometimes. I wish for another glorious and precious moments, only if i am alive, still. Hoping for another bright sunshine :)

p/s Hey, it’s five more days to JYJ showcase. OMG i really have to calm myself down :p

Thursday, October 7, 2010

From the kitchen to the lab

Hi readers,

Being a desperate housewife for more than two months is not that bad. In fact, if my future husband can afford giving me a monthly allowance at least RM2000, I’ll just stay at home not working. Or maybe working at home, like opening a bakery /lol or maybe a coffee house :p. This statement is purely affected by watching Asian Food Channel everyday at home. I feel like i wanna be a chef :p

I got a call from my Sunbae yesterday confirming that i can started working as a Research Assistant whenever i can. I said to him i can start working next week. It’s like so soon, but if i didn’t start soon, I’ll have much time to reject the offer :p

Okay let’s talk about this new job. This is the first job ever. I have done no part time job previously in my life, never. Not even once. Working in the lab is not my wish at the very first place. I intended to leave the lab and enter a new world, a different world i have ever been, yes, like working in the kitchen bakery, or teaching perhaps :p

I’ll be working in the lab i used to be while doing my Final Year Project. And working under my former Sunbae whom responsible to help me a lot during my crucial times. He’s the one who asked me whether am i interested in the job. I’ll take this as a benchmark, a little step to thousand miles of life journey :)

Of course this is not a permanent one. It depends on the contract and how far can i stand :p. Hopefully i can bear with it and enjoy working. Shifting into a new world isn’t that easy for me. Each time i enter a new intersection of my life, i get stuck in the beginning. But after i passed the initial part, i can finished until the final line :)

Hey guys, why not you pray for me? So that i can went through all these smoothly :). Wish me luck dear all :) :) :)

TQ @fandomreality

p/s I’m gonna miss my time of being a desperate housewife :p

Friday, October 1, 2010

[Eng Sub] Lee Seung Chul - That Person

Can't stop listening to this song. It's so addictive. I watch the series over and over again. I'm so fallin in love for Kim Takgu..omooo..I'm dying


[Eng Sub] Lee Seung Chul - That Person

My favorite song ever. I just can't get this out of my playlist. I just love Kim Takgu :)

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

JYJ Album Showcase Tour presale tickets in Malaysia

Finally, it’s the time I’ve been waiting for. They finally revealed the presale tickets detail :)



DATE: OCTOBER 17, 2010
TIME: 2:00PM



Tickets can be purchased through online and local means.





TICKETING AGENT: FATDEALS (Website: – 24 hours ticket sale. PLEASE check out at the website for more info)




Also, WARNER MUSIC MALAYSIA will have a pre-sale of JYJ ALBUM “The Beginning” on the concert day. They will have open booth/counter during the event.

There will also be songs performance and game session.

For more event information please visit:


More info can be obtained from those links.

Please help spread this! Thank you so much ♥

Source: Redstar Present

p/s:::Im craving for the VIP tix. I want it so badly :(

But getting the tix itself is going to be tough. Pray for me so that i can get to see them. VIP tix is something that i cannot get myself through. I’m unpaid okay. My mum wouldn’t sponsor that much. Plus i never know when SS3 will be sold. I’m afraid they will sell it soon so i haven’t have any backup money. So, have to spent wisely on both coz i just love both :)


Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Kenwooi, kamsamida :)

Hi readers,
Kenwooi commented on my entry :)
Yes, as stated above, Kenwooi commented on my entry. Sounds like hey do we all care? But i do :p anyway. This humble blog never expects comments on any post as i wrote for myself but if there is any, it’s just like, ‘wow’ i got comment! :p
I know a lot of bloggers received bunch of comments once they published their entry. In my case, i haven’t got that much and i didn’t care a lot about it..Chill~~
I have been a fan of Kenwooi since quite a long time. I can tell you it’s simply my type of blog i admire. If you’ve been following his blog, you will like the way he compile things to make a story. Very creative indeed :)
Thanks Kenwooi, for your warm visit :)
p/s Thanks also to Sharinginfoz, for not only visiting but also leave comment on some entries :)
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Sunday, September 26, 2010

JYJ Fan Meeting in Malaysia (Final Date)

Hello guys,

I’ve been waiting for the confirmation of JYJ Fan Meeting a.k.a JYJ New Album Showcase Tour. Yes, finally, Redstar have made a confirmation on this. Sorry PMR fangirls, you should study more okay? JYJ is more like than a legend to us (so-called-adult). You can keep adoring them, but don’t worry too much if you can’t attend the fan meeting. Someday, you’ll get a chance for that  :)


Date: 17 October 2010 (Sunday)

Venue: TBC

Tickets can sales will be on 1 October 2010 (online and local)

Time: TBC

Friday, September 24, 2010

The Book Of Tomorrow

Hi readers!

Have you read ‘The Book of Tomorrow’ written by Cecelia Ahern? I’m no doubt a big fan of her writings. Since I first started to read “P.S I Love You'” in 2007, i just can’t stop reading all her books. The second book of her that i read was “Where Rainbows End”. This is the most captivating novel i have ever read, now being my all time favorite book. The first time i read the book, i can’t stop until i forced myself to bath and eat. I finished the book less than a day which is quite abnormal to me. I am slow at reading books because once i paused, it will take a long time for me to resume back.

The latest book of her that i read was '”Thanks For The Memories”. Like usual, the book never disappoint me. I love the way she create a story, beautiful, a little fiction but nice :) Thanks for the memories affected the way i think, pretty much :)

The Book of Tomorrow, i haven’t read it yet. I really wanted to have this as my collection. For me, i don’t have to read the synopsis, i won’t be disappointed (so confident :p) Give me some money to buy. I am indeed a very poor young lady T____T tsk tsk

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Why girls being dumped by guys?


Bye Myspace Comments

I have no experience of being dumped by any man, at least not yet. Being dumped by someone you love is nobody’s wish. I’m pretty sure of that. I have friends even if they were just small in numbers, but once i considered them as friends, they are not just an empty shell, to me, they are my experience, my treasure i will always proud of. What happened to my friends as if i know, will certainly be my major concern as well.

Back to the topic, girls being dumped by guys. Okay let me explain this first. I’m no way of defending girls here, not to be gender bias. But as i started venturing myself into this blogging network, i came to notice that girls expressed their feelings more than guys did. Every little details will be jolted down on their page, joy and happiness, sad and miserable, everything related to feelings will be on the page (without filtrations). I know that when they did all of the above, they will feel at ease.

The worst thing is living without privacy.People know what you do, where you go, where you live, who’s your opponent, who’s your love, what you wear, where you live, you allow people stalking your life and you have nothing to keep for yourself. I don’t deny that sometimes i did that as well, like expressing my happiness and my joy, but i didn’t include details, so there are still some hidden mystery behind.

Sometimes i like to read love stories, but i hate to read the details of how sweet the moment the boy touch the girl’s hand, the moment the boy confessed his feelings to the girls, every words and sentences, the moment the boy gives her a surprise present and so many things I’m sure you know better. If i read the blog one time, i will say that this girl is pathetic. Sorry to be honest.

I can tolerate if the owner wrote some entries of her/his personal affair with their mate, but please not the entire blog plays around the two. Like no other life surround you. Hey, why do i care?

When it comes to a heartbreaking moment, this is the worst thing i never wanted to read. I have a great empathy,  i told myself not to worry much about people’s matter. I feel sorry if it comes to people’s sad love story, but sometimes i blame the one who published their love story too much. By knowing every details about yourself, some rivals may have taken this opportunity to mark you down.

Losing someone you love leaves your heart an empty hole, often heavy weight, without warning will explode into lacerating pain. This torment makes you long for a moment when your life was happier and easier. You tend to hope that your ex will return, sometimes even after a few years of single-living.

Girls tend to have high expectations from their mates, so once they got dumped, it will be hard for them to recover. Being obsessed with their mates, too much dependent on their mates, loving too much without boundaries (especially couples) and restricting their lives to look only at that man. Sounds exaggerating isn’t it? But this is for real. A reality that exposed the weaknesses of a girl.

Being weak is another factor why girls always have a broken heart which is hard to mend. Heart can be broken and mend, but if your heart once turn debris, how on earth will it turns normal?

OMG, i didn’t realize that this is the longest entry i have ever wrote. I talked too much here. I will write soon. Maybe from different perspective. Thank you if you are reading this :)

p/s I have not checked the spelling, forget about grammar, I’m stuck at this

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Wednesday, September 22, 2010

My love is my pleasure of life

Love Myspace Comments

Love is beautiful, love is sweet, love is life, love is breath, love is wonderful, love is amazing, love is nice, love is food, love is drinks, love is heaven, love is soul, love makes a life.

Love is really a love when two hearts feels the same, when the two person sacrifice for each other, when the two person cannot live well without each other, when the two person doesn’t have to utter a word of love, their heart communicates more than their lips do.

True love never fades, true loves never break, true love never hates, true love never expect much, but they give more. True love never demands and conquered, but they are tolerate.

Love cannot be hold tight as it will be like water, spilling out of hand, you have to handle with care. Love should not go out of rules and regulation, love has it’s limit, love in unconditional, love never hope but love gives more than it takes.

To be loved is by loving, just like to be hated is by hating. Love till the end, heart remains~~



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Windows Live Journal: Experience A Convenient Way To Write Your Blog

I am a big fan of hurulaini. I always do my KD list checkup referring to her site. I  first came across the application ‘Windows Live Journal’ from her site saying that it is a friendly application and suggest to the readers. Then, I tried! It is a way better than writing in the ordinary post entry. You can write directly on your blog, you can see how your writing will appear on the blog, without having to click the preview which is quit annoying to me. Plus, it will take you just a second to insert photos, you can directly edit the photo right on the post, not like before where i have to edit the photo first then upload it. It really hits my patient. And well, if you have more than a blog, i highly recommend you to use this application because you don’t have to open tabs to manage your blogs. It is very much applicable to me. You have to experience by yourself to agree with me. I love to explore and try out new things, it really makes my life easier sometimes. Nope, most of the times. You guys should try out this :)

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Monday, September 20, 2010

Will suicide solved problems?

I don’t understand why people commit suicide? Is this really just because you can’t solved your problem wisely? Is this really because pressure hits you as you cannot hold it any longer? Is this a fate that you wanted? Killing yourself? OMG i really can’t understand. We are human, born with difficulties in life, not just happiness. We were all given heart, soul and also brain to think, a faith to believe and a strong will to move on. You die, and you think you’ve settled—you’re totally wrong. You’ll be facing another no-where-to-go problems. Remember, we’re not living in the world only but the world we are living now will determine our lives in the future. Ad duniya imtihan :)

I wish i will have a strong faith as time passed~~Ameen

Sunday, September 19, 2010



No matter how brutal reality may be, we will not run from it.

Habits are frightening. When something becomes a habit, you take it for granted, and then there comes arrogance and prejudice. Once you grow used to seeing celebrities flashing their dazzling smiles at the camera, you'll scorn at any display of annoyance or irritation; once you grow used to seeing these people as your role models, you'll refuse to accept any inapt behavior. Once you've grown used to all of these things, reality becomes difficult to bear.

Scandal is scandal, it has no relation to truth whatsoever.

The one thing you cannot control in this world is the voice of the public. It may not be the voice of authority or the true voice of the majority. It is nothing more than a voice who claims to represent the majority.

Scandals are scandalous because we make them that way.

We see what we want to see and say what we want to say. The only place in this world where the 'truth' hold holds value is in the courts of justice. This is the kind of world we live in, 'truth' is a tool we use to achieve the things we want, and we'll toss it aside as soon as we're done.

It's true that what doesn't break you makes you stronger.

It would be a shame if anticipation became demand. You look up to and idolize those boys because they're everything you're not. You want them to be perfect, and that is exactly what they become to you. You want to be proud of them so that you can take pride in being a fan. You feel like their pride is no different from yours, and so you want them to do their very best in everything. And because you want them to do their very best, doing their best becomes an obligation that you demand them to fulfill.

Eventually being a 'fan' distorts into something else altogether.

It's the same as how the elderly take it for granted that people should offer their seats to them. It's an obligation, not a virtue.

When you play with children, it is your responsibility to feign defeat or to deal with their crying. It seems as though accepting defeat is not a trait of our nature. The root of this resentment is our tendency to compare. Everybody likes to compare. Comparison isn't such a bad thing, it's a means of putting your strengths and weaknesses into perspective. But when comparing morphs into competition, you'll be met with your destruction.

People who are unwilling to reveal their weaknesses and vulnerability seldom receive any sympathy. Just because someone doesn't wallow in self-pity doesn't mean that they're any more fortunate or any less deserving of sympathy. If you see someone fall or faint in the middle of a road, you'll walk over and help them up. But how about the people who pretend to have it easy? How about the people who silently overcome obstacle after obstacle, all the way until the end? How about the people who refuse to collapse until after they've completed their duty and have moved out of sight?

It all looks so easy when you're not the one living it.

We support because we approve and we approve because of the expectations we had to start with. People who work to satisfy expectations naturally receive support. Purity, cuteness and sexiness, these are things that we like and approve of. But what about them? The pressure of a comeback leave them with no choice.

When they don't approve of something, they'll just tell you 'I don't know' because that's really all there is to say. Nothing less, nothing more. If people demand an apology, well then that's what they'll get.

Sometimes simple gestures speak louder than the songs that they stay up at night to work on. But does that mean that they should give up writing songs and be satisfied with winning people over through mere fan service?

If they fall over and tell us they're okay, we'll forget about it and move on. If they're struggling to get to sleep but choose to stay up and compose anyway, we'll think nothing of it and move on. If they tell us they're okay, then there's no longer a need to fight and defend them. People move on.

This is the kind of world we live in: children who cry get the attention they want.

Do they really have to have a motive behind everything they do? When rumours of them being violent to their fans circulate, when they wear a few layers less of clothing, people jump to the conclusion that they do it to boost their popularity. Does it always have to come to that?

What is Dong Bang Shin Ki?
The love of our lives, the money making tool of large corporations, the dirt in the eyes of antis… But to our boys, they are nothing more than artistes It doesn't matter what other people think because they are living their dream The Dong Bang Shin Ki we see on stage is who they really are They're not smiling to please anyone, they are genuinely happy.

There's no way we'll ever live the same glamorous lives, and there's no way we'll ever understand the hardships they've endured. They are the stars in the sky, so far beyond our reach, and we're nothing more than fans who look up to them. But this is the path they chose and they'll keeping pushing forward through the storm So many things are beyond our control, but the one thing we can do is to stand by their side and to always keep the faith.

Full Credits to:

神起爵跡@TVXQBaidu Trans by: dorehh@DBSKnights 

Retrived from: DBSKnights

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